May we be truly thankful to our vets

Carla Axtman

This is so much better and more credible than anything I could have written. It also happens to echo my own sentiments so closely that I wish I would have written it.

Alex Horton, The Atlantic:

For many civilians, veterans are thought about in the span of football halftime shows, where we gawk at troops standing on the sidelines while the camera lingers on flags flapping in the wind. The word hero is tossed around and abused to the point of banality. The good intentions of civilians are rarely in question, but detached admiration has always been a stand-in for the impulse to do “something” for veterans.

So civilians clap at football games. They applaud returning troops in airports in outward appreciation, satisfied with their magnanimous deeds. Then—for many of them--it’s back to more tangible concerns, like the fragile economy. A veteran’s résumé might come across your desk, but if you’re like more than half of these surveyed hiring managers, you harbor suspicion and fear about post-traumatic stress episodes in the workplace.

That’s the problem with viewing something on a pedestal: you can only see one side at a time, and rarely at depth. It produces extremes—the valiant hero or the downtrodden, unstable veteran.

Thank you for your service. But we’re looking for someone else.

The view from the pedestal has warped the perspective many veterans hold when they leave the service. We call ourselves warriors and worship the Spartan ethos, but don’t always appreciate that our society is detached from our conflicts the way Sparta never was.

Horton is a former infantryman--which is what gives his words the credibility that mine could never have.

We are detached from our wars nowadays, too. We in the rank and file of America are not asked to sacrifice when our troops are sent off to a foreign land to fight in our name. We're not connected to these actions except when the color guard marches out in advance of the national anthem during our various sports pass times. Perhaps that's why we assuage our guilt by lifting soldiers on to pedestals.

I cringe when the word "hero" is tossed about in a casual manner, as if anyone who has ever tied their boots properly deserves the moniker. I suspect Alex Horton gets that same feeling in the pit of his stomach, too. "Hero" should be reserved for those who commit specific deeds of heroism.

More from Horton:

The view from the pedestal has warped the perspective many veterans hold when they leave the service. We call ourselves warriors and worship the Spartan ethos, but don’t always appreciate that our society is detached from our conflicts the way Sparta never was.

The superiority complex on the part of volunteer troops and veterans was described as far back as 1997 and has compounded with two conflicts and countless trying moments that have fed our pride. One could walk the earth for decades before finding a sense of worth and belonging that equaled what some of us experienced while in service.

From the first time we walk into a recruiter’s office to our last out-processing brief, we’re told recognition is exactly what we can expect. We’re ahead of the curve. We can lead and train. We are, we tell ourselves, more prepared than our civilian cohorts.

Unfortunately, many of us have found this isn’t the case, but that chip on our shoulder doesn’t tend to fall off. It leads to frustrating feelings that civilians don’t value our experiences in the workplace or the classroom.

According to Horton, the pedestal doesn't just damage our relationship with our vets. It makes it so much harder for vets to assimilate and return to civilian life. We feed a fragile superiority complex that further exacerbates the schism.

This meaningful, thoughtful essay by Horton should be required reading. We don't do our vets justice simply by letting them take the business class line to board an airplane or by clapping loudly at an event in their presence. Vets need to know that we truly value their experience by making sure they have proper access to work, education and healthcare. But more than that, we need to be connected to the work they do while they're serving--and bring that connection home when their service has ended.

By Carla Axtman Nov. 11, 2013