Sorry, I can't contribute, but I thought I would mention that you can avoid this psychodrama by holding family to the same standards you hold friends.

Solves an infinite number of problems. If those were "friends"...sorry, no advice.

Via an email:

"I had another successful application of henna via ketchup bottle a couple of weeks ago."

Lynn Partin has, by far, the best Christmas letters each year. Get on her list by any means possible. The amazing accomplishments of her (imaginary) children are always a must read.

I have lots of friends that don't exactly cover themselves in glory when corresponding. Pulling some cards off the shelf at random yields...

"I keep deleting my e-mails before I send them. I'll call you later, instead". (From the CEO of a software dev co.)

"Merry Christmas. I saw the story about 3 other hikers lost on Mt. Hood. Seems like it's always this time of year. I guess one has been found dead. He was the most experienced. They always fall from or into something in the snow. That mountain is a lot more dangerous than it looks. I loved the Little Crater lake we visited. The last group that got killed and never found was 2006. Remember them? One was from Dallas I think."

"We are still really cold. Not used to such cold and it
doesn't feel good when your not used to it. We haven't had a lot of cold in the last few years. Reminds me of that cold you get in Amarillo."

Inserted into a card, "Hydrogen Peroxide Ends Gingivitis, Keeps Teeth and Gums Healthy".

After a late night discussion on xmas gifts, this, entitled "Ghandi and Cauliflower", "I have been reading about Ghandi's actions and beliefs and it
definitely is a good example to follow. So when I say anything more about the "gifts" remember I am trying to use Ghandi as an example, even though it doesn't sound like it. I am glad you reminded me of what you had told me a while back about Ghandi's evolution. -----Last night I put very small pieces of cauliflower in a lasagna glass pan. I covered them in spaghetti sauce and then sprinkled bread crumbs on top from the Whole Foods market. I baked it for 35 min. at 375 degrees. Then I sprinkled a little parmesan cheese on it after heated and it turned out delicious. I guess that was a simpler version of the brussel sprout caserole."

In a combo xmas/birthday card, "Thought I would drop you a quick line, even though I'm on my period. Then I have to squeeze Sammy's anal glands. Actually I just remembered when I wrote that it is about to rain, and if I don't clean up his boom in the yard, lot's of little mushrooms will grow on it. I think you called them coprinus. I'll call you later".

Spam packaged as an xmas card, "Be a cop. High Paying & Quick Training for ages 50-55. Get the excitement career of a lifetime. Make your family and friends proud! Signup Now!"

I got a note from Harry Reid that if I don't sign up for the big pharma give-away, I'll be an enemy of the state and thrown in a federal prison, because health maintenance is a top Dem priority.

Must have been his idea of humor.

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