Is Portland protected by a mysterious league of superheroes?

Kari Chisholm

Barely a month ago, Willamette Week devoted an entire issue to the odd new "fad" of real-life urban superheros. Typically, they're well-meaning but slightly maladjusted. (The superheros, I mean. Not Willamette Week.)

WW profiled one such superhero in Portland, calling himself "Zeta Man":

It’s a tough job being Portland’s only superhero.

Once a week for the past 18 months, Zetaman has donned his costume and patrolled downtown Portland, seeking out the needy with gifts of food and clothing.

He goes armed with an extendable steel baton, pepper spray, and a Taser that delivers 30,000 volts—enough to put a man on the ground. Those tools of the trade are to defend himself or people in trouble. But he doesn’t pick fights, and so far he hasn’t been forced to draw his weapons or apprehend anybody. ...

“This is not about me,” he insists. “Anyone could do this. I’m nothing special.” He doesn’t even like the term “superhero,” preferring to call himself a “man of mystery.”

But maybe the "maladjusted dorks" story was just a cover story - a false flag to cover up more well-hidden superheros.

You see, it seems that Portland has another "man of mystery" - a caped crusader roaming the streets looking for trouble, and helping people in need.

WW, last week:

“They were pushing and shoving each other in the middle of the street,” says John Rothermich, a neighbor who saw the quarrelsome twosome fighting as well as jumping in and out of a car—until the partner locked Wiese out of the car.

“That’s when [Wiese] jumped on the hood,” said Rothermich.

According to Rothermich, the car accelerated for about a block before hitting the brakes. Wiese fell off the hood and onto the street. As the car drove away and Rothermich went to call 911, [Sam] Adams pulled up to the scene of the accident in his white pickup. ...

Adams was heading home to the Kenton neighborhood by way of North Campbell Street when he saw what he thought was a body lying in the street.

“I slowed down, and then stopped,” says Adams. “I could see someone was waving their arm in the air.”

After getting out of his truck and putting on his safety lights, Adams saw and heard Wiese groaning in pain. ...

Adams wasn’t sure if he should move Wiese, but eventually helped Wiese up and sat him near his truck, putting his coat around him.

“He didn’t want me to call an ambulance because he said he didn’t have insurance,” says Adams.

Rothermich and Adams tried to get Wiese to his feet. “By that time [Wiese] was screaming bloody murder,” said Adams who, along with the Rothermich and another witness, Shelley Turely, decided it was time to call 911.

Of course, this may explain an incident that happened some six years ago -- when another local superhero chased down a thug who had assaulted several citizens of this fair city on a light rail train. Again, cue Willamette Week (should we call them the Daily Planet?):

Blumenauer says that when he saw the kid hitting another man, he pulled out his cell phone to call 911. The kid noticed this and demanded Blumenauer give him the cell phone. When the congressman declined, he says, the kid slugged him. ...

Seeing that Blumenauer was unfazed by the assault and that other folks waiting there were concerned, the teenager bolted. Blumenauer, a longtime marathoner, joined the other man who'd just been hit in jogging after the boy to see where he went. The teenager, who evidently was a multimodal delinquent, hopped on the eastbound MAX--only to be nabbed by police soon thereafter.

Something definitely seems to be afoot in Gotham, er, Portland. Stay tuned, dear readers.

By Kari Chisholm April 07, 2008