Us Versus Us
Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant
Even if we believe in bipartisanship and playing well with others, it's easy to get so overwhelmed by our own passion that we can't entertain the idea that the "other side" occasionally has a point. When it comes to informed debate, we often act more like kindergartners than adults... "Not gonna, you can't make me!" we yell as we stomp out of the room in a pique.
So when we actually start arguing points for THEM, the others, it's a real slap in the face to us, the ones who are supposed to be right all the time.
Case in point -- I got summoned for jury duty again. I've gotten deferments twice already. I wasn't a friend of the defendent or nursing an infant (or even nursing the defendent), but I was out of town speaking at conferences both times. The third time the jury summons came, once again, I was scheduled to be out of town speaking. But apparently, I'd worn out my welcome with the judge and when my expected deferment letter didn't arrive in the mail last week, I hightailed it down to the county courthouse.
"I can't be here," I explained to the clerk as I pointed towards the Jury Room, "because I'll be in Roseburg." I felt like a lawyer making my opening argument. The clerk simply shrugged and smiled wanly -- universal sign language for "I have no control over this, not to mention, I've heard it all before."
Thinking somehow I'd sway her, this woman not in in control, I went on and on in way too much detail about how if I had to choose between a job and serving jury duty, I'd have to choose the job because I need the money. I think I may have even said, "I'd love to do my civic duty, but I NEED THE MONEY."
YIKES! When did I turn into a greedy corporate type? Am I now "the man?" Perhaps that explains the sideburns that seem to be growing in.
It's easy to talk a good game, but sometimes when it comes down to our own personal lives, we're all hypocrites. I like to think of myself as a civic-minded person who does her best for her community and the world, but apparently when it comes right down to it, I'm in it for the money. Just like Exxon Mobil (only my money can usually fit in a small envelope, while theirs requires a supertanker).
I've noticed other telltale signs of turning into the man. I love my Honda Civic, which I drive whenever I need to get anywhere around town that is too far to walk. But when it comes to getting on the freeway, I gladly take the gas-guzzling truck. At least when commuting in it, I don't have to attach an orange flag to the back bumper in order to be seen by all the SUVs and big rigs. I deplore deforestation, but love reading books and using toilet paper. I'm an animal rights activist, but still kill ants in the spring when they take over my kitchen and have actually squished quite a few slugs.
The only thing that saves me from sinking into despair about my own hypocrisy is understanding it is a problem that affects everyone. And I'm thankful that at least I'm aware enough of my problem to feel guilty. If I can't be right all the time, at least I can feel guilty about my lapses.
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5:45 p.m.
Feb 12, '07
It's really sad, but we do have a huge problem with hypocrisy as a community. It really pisses me off, but aside from a gentle ribbing, it's hard to tell one's friends and colleagues (or one's self for that matter) how incredibly irresponsible and selfish you think they're being. Kudos for confessing your "sins" so publicly. They say that's the first step. Too bad it's also the easiest.
PS Everyone thinks I'm environmentally conscious because I ride my bike everywhere, but secretly I take long, really hot showers and even the occasional bath.
5:14 p.m.
Feb 13, '07
I deplore deforestation, but love reading books and using toilet paper.
So buy post consumer recycled content tp and books. They exist.
Also, check out these other environmentally preferable products
10:38 p.m.
Feb 13, '07
a hypocrite preaches one thing -- and demands loudly, stridently that others believe and follow -- and then does something different. a hypocrite is self-serving with no regard for others.
you are not a hypocrite. if you were, you wouldn't have bothered to write this piece. you would write about the need to take public transport. you would talk about Civic Duty and not mention your own experience.
what you are is human and inconsistent. being inconsistent may not be a matter for pride, but it's miles from hypocrisy. the fact that you recognize your failures to meet your own ideals demonstrates how little hypocrisy you possess. hypocrites are like the guy Jesus talked about in Luke 6:41-42:
i don't see you criticizing others; you just are disappointed in yourself. that's a completely different thing than hypocrisy.
go easy on yourself. the more we beat ourselves up for our own human nature, the harder it becomes to make those changes we desire. it's good to admint you've fallen short; no need to smack yourself silly as well. just make the change you can make: an occassional bus ride, or spending more for the green product, or whatever you know the right thing to do is.