Living in a Fishbowl

Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant

They say that watching fish in an aquarium is supposed to be good for your blood pressure. This is only true I think, if you're not actually responsible for the fish inside. If you've ever had to scoop dead fish out of your aquarium before breakfast, you know what I mean. I was hyperventilating into my Cheerios this morning.

For anyone who still doesn't believe the planet is facing an environmental nightmare of Humvee proportions, all it should really take to convince them is an aquarium and the assignment to keep the fish alive for a month. Seeing how simple changes in the pH level, the temperature, or the number of plants in the tank can cause the fish inside to struggle for survival, provides a great graphic example of what we've been doing to the planet for the past milennia (although I personally accept no responsibility for any damage that occurred prior to 1712.)

Unfortunately, when it comes to the planet, we can't just pour in some "Atmosphere Purifier" or put a few million people in another tank to balance out the ecosystem. Although I'm sure someone has started a list of people they'd like to relocate when the time comes.(Okay, that someone is me.)

This lack of a quick and easy solution to global warming and environmental degradation is a major problem in our instant gratification world. If we're going to the effort to change, we want to see the results now. How many people have quit a diet because they didn't drop 40 pounds in the first month? It's the same attitude from those who ask, "Why should I change my light bulbs to compact fluorescents today if the manatees are still going to go extinct?"

There are many things we can each do to slow down environmental destruction -- I myself am driving less, using recycled paper products, planting more trees, unplugging my electronic devices when they're not in use, and replacing my lawn with free-range organic pink plastic flamengos that I get from garage sales. But perhaps the best thing we can do for the planet is to become comfortable with instant disappointment.

Let's say, for example, that you wanted to purchase a large screen plasma TV in time for the SuperBowl, but you didn't. You experienced instant disappointment (and perhaps instant ungratification.) Disappointment in not getting what we want seems like a bad thing, but really it isn't. After all, if you did get the TV, you get one, maybe two months of feeling ecstatic with your new toy. But if you don't get it, you can drag your disappointment around for years. It's a much bigger bang for your lack of bucks. And if you mention how small your old TV is to enough people, you'll probably get invited to watch further television events on someone else's big screen TV. Which means you get to experience the new technology, not pay for it, AND feel holier than thou for not having contributed to the energy and environmental costs of producing the set! You can't beat that with a universal remote control.

Since no one has yet come up with a carbon dioxide patch for everyone on the planet to take away our cravings, we're just going to have to learn to live with them. This fish bowl we're sharing is getting pretty murky and as much as I'd like to believe someone's going to pour in some fresh water just in the nick of time, I think it's time we fish to start taking care of ourselves. Because if there is a god, I don't want to be responsible for raising his or her blood pressure.

By Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant Feb. 05, 2007