No More Plastic Turkey
Jeff Alworth
The long tradition--observed by BlueOregon today--is to look within ourselves and find what we're thankful for. We inevitably look inward and offer thanks for the things which, at root, keep us going--family, health, friends. It feels like a post-Freud thing, giving thanks as group therapy. We ignore the bigger themes and opt for safe psychological terrain. That's fine, as far as it goes, but doesn't Thanksgiving have a more political, a more national character?
The origins of the holiday are many, but the national legend supports this one: in the early 17th century, Massachusetts pilgrims held a repast with the friendly Wampanoag to celebrate the harvest following the brutal first year in North America. The locals, who according to this tale assisted the pilgrims, broke bread and celebrated the success of the new visitors.
Nearly three hundred years later, how have we honored this spirit of international brotherhood? Should we break bread with Iraqis? And if so, which ones--Sunnis, Shi'a, or Kurds? The warm celebration--not to mention the Cowboys-Broncos game--might be spoiled by a car bomb should all three be invited, so best hold off on that. Perhaps we might invite the French? Germans? Actually, based on Bush's recent travels, I think we can scratch the whole of Europe--even "new Europe"--off the invitation list. (And South America, and ...)
From the tiny community of 142 (52 pilgrims, 90 Wampanoag), we have grown into the world's sole superpower. We are as religious as ever, but somehow less humble, less collaborative. After invading Iraq, Bush celebrated Thanksgiving with the troops. Pictures of him in front of a golden turkey were whisked to FOX News, who was trying to help give birth to another myth. (The turkey was a plastic fake and the soldiers got the same old KBR offering.) Bush forwarded a new way of giving thanks--to him, for liberating a populous from a despot.
He was dressed in the prop of the time--as the Caeser in an Army jumpsuit.
We're thousands of deaths and long months into a simmering civil war from that fantasy, so probably we won't see a reprise of of the plastic turkey affair (or the Army gear). For this Thanksgiving, we might do well to recall a far more recent event, the weeks following 9/11. The countries of the world, on the eve of that year's Thanksgiving, offered Wampanoag-like support for us in our time of need. We have squandered it--spectacularly--but perhaps we can look at the wreckage of our national foreign policy and find some hope.
Looking at the polls and the collapsing leadership within the Republican party, I can actually find something for which to offer thanks. After two and a half decades of persuing foolsgold in the GOP promises, Americans seem to finally be waking up to reality. In 2003, when Bush offered the plastic turkey, Americans had a hearty helping. This year, they seem to recognize how bad plastic tastes and how little it nourishes. With some good luck and good leadership, we may actually be pulling out of this long national malaise. And that's something to be truly thankful for.
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Nov 28, '05
The plastic turkey - The Myth That Would Not Die.
Do five minutes of research. It's not plastic. It's real. Every military base has a cooked display bird on Thanksgiving. Then the troops are fed from pre-sliced turkey in trays, since it's rather time-consuming to slice turkey and serve it at the same time. There are photos of Bush from this event where he is holding the pretty turkey, and photos where he is serving the troops their dinner from the trays. What's the problem?
I can't believe this myth is still alive after all of these years. Have the people repeating it been living in a bubble or on a desert island or something? How embarassing.
Nov 28, '05
The New York Times even wrote a correction to the story.
"An article last Sunday about surprises in politics referred incorrectly to the turkey carried by President Bush during his unannounced visit to American troops in Baghdad over Thanksgiving. It was real, not fake."
Nov 28, '05
I have always known there is at least one real turkey in that photo.
10:05 a.m.
Nov 28, '05
I must have been reading the wrong blogs--liberals tended to hype that story pretty strongly. Whether or not the turkey was fake has little bearing on its purpose as metaphor in this post, however: everything else about Bush's war rhetoric was fake.
Nov 28, '05
Fake...but accurate!
Nov 28, '05
Like most liberals, you're spot on with the facts, Jeff. Fake but accurate. Got any more tales from the Liberal Myth Machine?
Mark In Red East-County
I'm thankful that the rest of the country had more sense than BlueOregon did last November
Nov 28, '05
Tim Blair says your an idiot. Nya-nya-nya!
Nov 28, '05
So now it's a metaphorical plastic turkey. I get it.
If you weren't blinded by Bush Derangement Syndrome(tm) you'd notice--if you look real close--it's a real turkey. Not even the Japanese can make plastic food that realistic looking.
Also, you might want to wake up to the fact that America is not behind the Democratic cut-and-run strategy. Just a little courtesy heads up for you.
Nov 28, '05
"Whether or not the turkey was fake has little bearing on its purpose as metaphor in this post"
You couldn't have done better if you tattooed "I AM NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY" in large red letters on your forehead.
Your exact words are, "The turkey was a plastic fake and the soldiers got the same old KBR offering." That's not a metaphor, that's a declarative statement. And it's wrong. A person with integrity would simply say, "Oops, my bad." So, any further factual statements you make cannot be assumed to be factual, but incorrect or "metaphorical."
7:18 p.m.
Nov 28, '05
Mark In Red East-County
Do you mean east Multnomah County? If so, it's far from being "red." It voted for Kerry, is represented by a Dem on the county commission, has numerous school board members and city council members and mayors who are dems, the bulk of the population is represented by State Senator Laurie Monnes Anderson who is a dem, etc.
And many of us out here plan to make it even more blue in the 2006 elections.
Nov 28, '05
surfed in from Tim Blair
I see that someone else has set you straight on the fake turkey myth with the NYT correction. Here's another correction from December of last year, from the Los Angeles Times:
No link, sorry; it's dead by now.
Now, why not be a stand-up member of the Reality Based Community and admit you've been had, without making any excuses about it.
Nov 28, '05
surfed in from Tim Blair
I see that someone else has set you straight on the fake turkey myth with the NYT correction. Here's another correction from December of last year, from the Los Angeles Times:
No link, sorry; it's dead by now.
Now, why not be a stand-up member of the Reality Based Community and admit you've been had, without making any excuses about it.
8:31 p.m.
Nov 28, '05
Settle down fellas. Read the first sentence of the retraction. If it's a real turkey (still no actual evidence, so I don't want to look doubly stupid), my apologies.
Having said that, any one of you brave souls care to defend the plastic turkeys Bush has served to the American people since Fall 2002? WMD, al Qaida-Iraq links, nuclear program, gathering threat, rebuilding democracy, freedom in the Middle East, taking it to the enemy...
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Nov 28, '05
Well Jeff I see you quickly shut down your own question, but I don't blame you when a more pertinent request would be that you answer it for yourself in defense of the lying hypocritical loons that are the Democrats :
Who Is Lying About Iraq
Good luck with that one!
Nov 29, '05
Having said that, any one of you brave souls care to defend the plastic turkeys Bush has served to the American people since Fall 2002? WMD, al Qaida-Iraq links, nuclear program, gathering threat, rebuilding democracy, freedom in the Middle East, taking it to the enemy...
Sure, I'll help you out:
WMD: They had it (ask the Kurds) and we found have found TONS of it
al Qaida-Iraq links - it's been proven that Saddam hosted a few terrorists in his day:
nuclear program, they had a fledgling one
gathering threat, duh
rebuilding democracy, it's working, ignore your liberal media friends and ask the Iraqis
freedom in the Middle East, Lebenon is better, Syria is getting better
taking it to the enemy.....we are and if you don't like it suck rocks - cutting and running won't work.
Face it. We're winning the war and you don't like it. Even Joe Leibermann knows it. Too bad you moonbats wouldn't back a "good" Democrat like him.
Your crazy leftist talking points just don't cut it anymore.
Nov 29, '05
"Having said that, any one of you brave souls care to defend the plastic turkeys Bush has served to the American people since Fall 2002? WMD, al Qaida-Iraq links, nuclear program, gathering threat, rebuilding democracy, freedom in the Middle East, taking it to the enemy..."
Jeff, Let's let Dems themselves provide my response. See
http://www.whosaiditiraq.blogspot.com/
as well as Joe Lieberman.
Jenni: We'll see how things stand after EastCo. splits from Multnomah co. Though, I will admit your points regarding currently elected officials. In fact, I found a touch of blue on myself when I voted for Anderson in her last two runs.
Nov 30, '05
TWO YEARS OF METAPHORICAL PURPOSE Jeff Alworth—who’d earlier declared “the turkey was a plastic fake”—now performs some comical wriggling:
Whether or not the turkey was fake has little bearing on its purpose as metaphor ... So now the bird is just a metaphor? Better tell that to Kevin Zeese, whose recent column mentioned Alworth’s plastic literary device six times. Republished in the American Chronicle, this howler is added in the very first line of Zeeses’s piece:
Last year President Bush made a surprise visit to the troops in Iraq, put on an Army jacket and served the troops a turkey. Bush’s visit was in 2003.
Nov 30, '05
"If it's a real turkey (still no actual evidence, so I don't want to look doubly stupid), my apologies"
BWAHAHA! With those authentication standards, you could get a job at CBS.
I say the turkey's plastic, and the guy holding it is John Kerry in a Bush mask, pending actual evidence that it's not.
3:09 p.m.
Nov 30, '05
Mark--
It's beginning to look like it will only happen if there is a change in the law.
If they try to join Clackamas County, everyone in Clack Co and Mult Co gets to vote on it. That just about assures a defeat.
The only way this has a chance at passing is if only the people out here can vote on it. However, with the law currently stating you have to leave 400 sq miles behind, it is impossible for "east county" to secede. I'm not even sure the entire city of Gresham would be able to leave. I'm trying to find the article, but there was a recent article on this that dove into the facts really well. It explained who got to vote depending on the circumstances as well as a whole bunch of other info. I think it was in the Outlook, but not in the issue I just skimmed through. Seems to me it said the entire county was only like 460 sq miles or something like that.
The one I just looked through did say that Rep Patti Smith said that Corbett and the surrounding areas in her district that are within the county are also interested in leaving. She said that she hopes a change could be made to the state constitution to allow it.
Nov 30, '05
BTW, congrats on a beautiful deployment of Shot-Down Leftist Strategy #12, "Quickly Change the Subject"
Nov 30, '05
I think it's clear that since Jeff Alworth missed the retraction of the plastic turkey story, the Republicans have been right about everything since his birth.
3:38 p.m.
Nov 30, '05
Let them have their fun, Tom. It's been a LONG time since conservatives have gotten anything right.
Nov 30, '05
Except one thing: voting.
Dec 22, '05
Jeff, I'm just one more on the pile-up.What I'm trying to understand is a)Why you would believe something like this in the first place? b)Why you would continue to believe it years after the "urban legend" was bitch slapped over the blogosphere? c)Why you can't simply say,"Oops" The reasons for continuing may be somewhat complex,but they boil down to your emotions are so invested in your belief system,you view any contrarian data as an attack on you.Now,there are some people whose intellect is so overpowering their views are accorded respect regardless of their knowldge base in a subject.(Newton was famously an alchemist,Soddy ( a chemist who with Rutherford won a Nobel for atomic transmutation) became an economics enthusiast and Linus Pauling was probably better known to the public for vitamin C then the sigma bond. You,however,don't have their gravitas.Think on this.One of the cutting phrases in my college group was,"He must be a liberal arts major";i.e "He's stupid".Don't let people confirm it.Aside from the snideness(which I freely acknowledge) I would like to make a suggestion. There's a basic personality test,the MMPI.(Minnesota multiphasic persnonality ind.)Consider taking it and listening to what it says.
12:10 p.m.
Dec 22, '05
Corwin, You're making too much of my demural. I'm happy to admit I'm wrong--but besides righties telling me I'm wrong (generally larded with a lot of supposition about my motivation)--I haven't actually seen the evidence yet. If I apologize for having posted misinformation based on second-hand reports and it turns out THOSE reports are wrong, I look twice as silly. I don't need the lectures (or the diagnosis), just a link--
Dec 22, '05
Jeff was right. It turns out that many Republicans eat plastic. That's why they hate curbside recyling. They prefer to eat third world children, of course, but once their supply of tender kids are all used up, they move on to plastic.
Your blind partisanship is always your undoing. It was true for Gore, true for Kerry, and it will be true for Hillary also. Rather than trying to alienate the moderate Republicans and Independents, you ought to be courting them. You are electrifying your base at the expense of offending the vast American middle.
Merry Christmas, Happy Channukah, Peace be with you!
P.S. H. Ross Perot was more inclusive than most of the wackos that post on this site.
Dec 23, '05
Jeff, A very civilized response.But you mised my point.Let's examine point a) of my previous post.To believe the President dispensed a plastic turkey in Iraq presupposes:
<h1>1There were no real turkeys for him to use in a photo op.</h1> <h1>2.No one would say to the President;"My God,don't pose with that plastic turkey".</h1> <h1>3The President would insult American militay personnel by carrying out a plastic turkey.</h1> <h1>4The military personnel would be cheering wildly if their C-in C carried out a plastic turkey.</h1>Again,crediting this for a nano second tests the flexible bonds of reality.That's my point. This is somewhat akin to someone quoting to me an Ohio counties supposed 95.6% voting during the '04 campaign,throwing the state to GWB.Since I felt strongly this was so ridiculous it could make me money,I bet $100:we checked online and,well,you know. The point I'm trying to make is their should be a reality checker .Now I don't want to abuse your hospitality,so I'll be signing off.
Dec 23, '05
Corwin,
The turkey may not have been plastic, but it was not food for the troops either. This Seattle Times article suggests that if the turkey were plastic, events may have unfolded just as they did. As we know, Shrub is at his best when scripted very tightly. Left on his own, turkeys are likely to be seen flying every which way, some stuffed, some not.