Week in Review (April 18-22)

Jeff Alworth

Consider the following news item and you have a pretty good sense of what the week of April 18-22 was like: “The Oregon Senate unanimously passed a bill Monday authorizing the state Fish and Wildlife Department to prohibit using the Internet to hunt animals by remote control.”  Call it the not-ready-for-prime-time week in politics.  Monday’s news included that bizarre hunting proposal, as well as billowing black smoke.  Translation: nothing to see here, folks.

Tuesday contained an item of actual news, identified dramatically by plume of white smoke: Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger was elected as the new pope.  It was a blow to liberals and liberation theologians, who wanted someone with a little more progressivity than that offered by Pope JPII’s doctrinal “enforcer” (aka “enforcer of the faith,” “Doctrinal Czar”).  I don’t want to suggest anything as crass as politics may have contributed to his selection, but South American and African cardinals may have been biding their time: Pope Benedict 16 begins service in his 79th year. 

But enough actual news, let’s get to the dog and pony shows.  In the Oregon House, we witnessed laudable efforts to patch up some of the campaign rules shown to be lax by the large-scale embezzlement of Dan Doyle.  But what was Karen Minnis--who earlier this year appointed Doyle as her chief budget writer--doing grandstanding about “accountability” and “transparency?”  Oh, right, covering her ass.  Also from the House, more petit Bushism, as legislators tried to hide their school-funding failures with the flag.  They pushed through a bill that would have school children recite the pledge of allegiance every day, rather than just once a week.  That’s almost as good as funding the little tykes’ education, isn’t it?

(Warning, bad pun ahead.)  At the eleventh hour, two GOP senators balked at the nomination of the odious John Bolton for UN ambassador, making Wednesday (I warned you) Boltin’ day.  Never mind the fact that Bolton abuses his staff, nor that he despises the UN, nor that he lied under oath, nor even that he is accused of cooking intelligence to promote a political agenda: the GOP was standing strong behind this guy as the “best choice.”  That is, until foreign relations committee chair Richard Lugar (R-IN) tried to ram him through a vote late Wednesday afternoon.  In a dramatic turn,  Chuck Hagel (R-Neb) joined George Voinovich (R-OH) in announcing that they couldn’t support the nomination.  (I don't usually link things on the review, but here's a great clip of the event.)  Remember when Bush visited Ohio to put the screws to Voinovich to support his tax cuts?  Voinovich does: payback’s a bitch, Mr. President. 

Looming decisions seemed more portentous after several announcements on Thursday.  The Senate judiciary committee, voting on party lines, approved two of Bush’s judicial re-nominations (inappropriate to a Boltonesque degree).  This set up a future showdown over judicial filibusters in the main body and sent blue-state GOP Senators scrambling.  If it comes down to a vote, remember your Senator from Oregon: on Thursday he announced he’d vote with his party to end filibusters.  More Washington portent: the House approved that bad Cheney energy bill.  Among its more delightful provisions: drilling in ANWR and exemptions for a drilling technique that contaminates drinking water.  It’s the oil, stupid.  And finally, in Oregon, the Senate decided not to ban concealed weapons from schools.  (Is that bulge in your pants a Glock, Johnny, or are you just saying the pledge of allegiance?)

Let’s give it up for Alan Greenspan, folks—the hardest working man in show business.  On Friday, he amused crowds by saying that the deficits caused by the Bush tax cuts—for which he memorably shilled—have put the US on “an unsustainable path.”  He suggested—hilariously--gutting Social Security as one solution.  Friday was Earth Day, and the President used it as an opportunity to promote his “Clean Skies” legislation, which will actually dirty them and reduce the effectiveness of the existing Clean Air Act.  Hey, here’s an idea. For the next three years, let’s also call Earth Day “Orwellian Doublespeak Day.”  A little bit of real news on Friday, to lighten the mood: Portland Mayor Tom Potter announced that the City would become the first ever to withdraw from the Joint Terrorism Task Force.  You know, I’m starting to really grow fond of the mayor.

By Jeff Alworth April 24, 2005