Republicans Gone Wild
Anne Martens
So here’s my Friday. After a brief greasing with other bright cogs in the political machinery of goodness and light at Progressive Happy Hour, we hit the road for Seaside – destination Dorchester. Not for substance (don’t be silly) but for the annual Dalto Dance Party, and a damn good party it was!
Absolute trepidation upon arrival. It’s very strange to walk into a room where you know that everybody views you as the enemy (or you view them as the enemy - between truth and projection it all gets a bit confusing). Even though I’ve never met many of these people before, I felt like something about my demeanor, my clothes, my very person would surely give me away as a big D Democrat. Of course I was right. It’s a little off-putting to come into a conversation of people I considered strangers only to realize that they knew exactly who I was and who I worked for, without even having to hear my name. With considerable humor and presence of mind, they asked me if I was slumming. I’ll take that as a tribute to their research skills and a pointer on something that we could do better.
Much to my chagrin, there was no devil worship, no corporate alter (save the Shilo Inn itself) and no overt signs of the base evil which we assign to Republicans as a rule. And, people were very nice, very welcoming, and quite funny about our status as sworn enemies.
If I were into bipartisanship (I’m not), this is where I would recommend that you go to Dorchester so we could all have a “people are people” moment. Their hacks are as bad as our hacks (actually, their hacks are a bit better at the art of hackery), and they have reasonable people just like we have reasonable people. Kumbaya. If I were into alcoholism (I am), I would recommend that you go for the booze.
Anyway, we all know that sides have to be chosen and mud has to be slung.
On with the show. Lamp and Capitol Punishment performed both painful original live rock and some standards as requested by the Representatives in the house. But the party really got started when we went totally 80’s. Not only did they play all the best from that decade of audio excellence, but a big screen showed the videos (remember when MTV was still new) and PacMan chomped away at a console in the corner.
There were a ton of young people there. I mean a ton. Don’t go out on the dance floor alone ladies, because a swarm of baseball-capped young bucks will soon surround you – leaving you no choice but to freak one of them or execute a well-timed dive though their legs off the floor to freedom. Linda “Raise the Roof” Flores is a regular party in a pink jacket: the woman danced her ass off to every song, including George Michael’s model of moral values, “I want your sex.” Brian Boquist showed up in full Roosevelt Roughrider regalia, complete with belt o’ bullets. A local education board member told me that we ought to abolish all public schools. DiLo told me how much he loved “Avenue Q.” Troy, the perennial playa with the porn star name (yeah, I’d do him), sported a saucy tart with vacant eyes but a nice butt. An overly inebriated young man who was hanging rather closely on his slightly less inebriated buddy charged me when I told him that Jesus would still love him if they just made out. Glow-necklaces were freely tossed to the crowd. It was a really good party.
And here’s the thing: it was really fun. It was fun because the music was great, the party was crowded, and everybody was having a good time. We are, my friends, in danger of losing the “cool” war (lady in the America pants notwithstanding - I chose her photo because I'm not on their PR team). Everybody wants to be at the best party and whichever Party’s parties are better shall reap the rewards. Democrats tend to get so caught up in being earnest and righteous that we forget to just f*cking relax and have a good time. Oh yes, there was one other thing (Oregon Summit organizers please take note): Full. Hosted. Bar.
Lighten up. Live a little.
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7:48 p.m.
Mar 7, '05
Great posts! I was hoping we'd have some eyes on the ground. Did you happen to see the debate about civil unions? I REALLY want to know what the rationale was there. Bix asked the trenchant question: "Given how much the state's righteous wing demonstrates otherwise, we wonder if there still are people who say we shouldn't call it bigotry."
Well?
8:00 p.m.
Mar 7, '05
Actually, I have a much more pressing and trenchant question about this bit:
There were a ton of young people there. I mean a ton. Don’t go out on the dance floor alone ladies, because a swarm of baseball-capped young bucks will soon surround you – leaving you no choice but to freak one of them or execute a well-timed dive though their legs off the floor to freedom.
So which was it, Anne? Did you freak them out or drive through their legs?
8:01 p.m.
Mar 7, '05
Er, dive, that is.
9:18 p.m.
Mar 7, '05
Actually, I saw very little of the debates. Truly, I wasn't there for substance.
As for my narrow escape from the dance floor gangbang, I sent a signal of "help" to a friend and dove for it. Don't mess around with Republicans - birth control is verboden and they'll expect you to keep the baby.
Mar 7, '05
Anne,
You be a trooper going on the dance floor. The thought of Boquist in a Rough Riders outfit is very entertaining; since his is so serious looking during Revenue Committee hearings that I have been too.
Mar 8, '05
(actually, their hacks are a bit better at the art of hackery)
Come now, Anne, don’t sell yourself short. Nobody’s got nuthin on the political hacks in the Secretary of State’s office. Just ask Ralph Nader.
Mar 8, '05
Now that's funny. did you know that Candy (The woman in the flag pants), is the President of the "Mainstream" R's. You can't praise them and slam them at the same time. The cognative dissonance is freakin' me out.
The college R's are greater in number at the University of Oregon than the college D's. You gotta love that. That's how it starts.
Signed,
Just another R hack.
Mar 8, '05
One of the young people there was a D friend of mine accompanying her L boyfriend.
R's may know how to party, but who would want to party with them? Ack!
12:44 p.m.
Mar 8, '05
Regarding young people.
It's true, to a great extent, the left has lost its cool, and somehow the right picked it up. I was watching some Comedy Central program recently with stand-ups, and none of it was funny except this one guy who was making fun of NPR. He mocked the little musical interludes that come in between every other breath on that station, the banal air of the talk, the somewhat boring way things are done...and he compared it to FoxNews where Bill O'Reilly plays the latest rock bands to introduce his show, where things are lively and invigorating. Not that we should be Bill O'Reilly (yuck!), and not that NPR is bad, but it does seem a complete about-face from the days when liberals were long-haired and far-out, when conservatives listened to quiet voices on the radio. So we need to focus on the cool again. That attracts the young people.
Second, and something I'm less sure about, but it seems many (most?) of the young people flocking to conservative causes are more libertarian than socially conservative. They're "cool" with general principles of anti-discrimination, maybe they smoke pot, they seem not to mind sex in movies. But they're anti-government. Or is this view just totally off-base?
2:59 p.m.
Mar 8, '05
C'mon...don't tease us...who was the school board member who wanted to abolish public schools ???
Linda Flores dancing to "I Want Your Sex" -priceless.
Other than that, a great,irreverent post that reminds us to relax a little, have a drink and get ready to kick off the next election cycle.
Mar 8, '05
The college R's are greater in number at the University of Oregon than the college D's. You gotta love that. That's how it starts.
That's how what starts, becoming a Chickenhawk? Maybe that's why there's a recruitment problem in the United States Army now. The lil' Rs are more interested in playing paddycake politics on campus than they are rooting out “The Bad Guys” in Iraq. What a surprise. Put it under the heading of “Like papa neocons, Like baby neocons.”
11:43 p.m.
Mar 8, '05
The college R's are greater in number at the University of Oregon than the college D's. You gotta love that. That's how it starts.
Let's not all get twitterpated over this. The largest College R's chapter in the nation is at... Berkeley. When I was at USC (in the early 90s, when it was a notoriously conservative/frat-boy political culture), the largest College Democrats were at USC.
You'll typically find the largest chapters of either organization at schools where the dominant culture is the opposite. It's a survival mechanism. Also, the dominant ideology tends to splinter into a thousand little groups.