The Week in Review

Jeff Alworth

The week started out with a big smooch on Valentine's Day: Happy 146th, Oregon.  And you don't look a day past 129.  Speaking of smooches, President Bush offered one to fate as thanks for the Iraqi election results, announced Monday.  Shi'ites there failed to get a theocracy-forming outright majority, and must now wrangle with Kurds, who drew a respectable 26%.  And in Multnomah County, the kisses kept on coming.  To deadbeat taxpayers, the County included pretty little notices with their valentines, dashing the rumors that voting against the tax hike meant you could just skip paying, too.

The world took its ball and went home without the United States on Tuesday, as the Kyoto climate agreement took effect without our participation.  The signatories include 141 countries and the goal is stopping those damn palm trees from sprouting in Cleveland, but hey, you gotta have priorities, right?  I mean, it could affect business.  In Portland, Schools Supe Vicki Phillips recommended closing seven schools, a proposal universally described as "bold."  It may be called other names as parents and students and anti-tax activists weigh in.  In unrelated news, the McMenamin Brothers were seen touring the grounds of Edwards Elementary.  Finally, proving he's a can-do kind of guy, Bush sent back his rejected judicial nominees to the Senate.  Another sterling show of bipartisanship.

A triumph and a failure Wednesday.  The triumph occured as an interceptor missile narrowly missed a rocket over the Pacific.  It turned out the interceptor didn't actually launch, but scientists were pleased that the distance between the interceptor and rocket was lower than in previous tests. The test cost under $90 million dollars, also a success in frugality.  A failure of justice on Wednesday, however, as scofflaw journalists continue to roam the streets freely.  A three-judge panel said a stop ought to be put to this disgrace right quick, and recommended jailing New York Times and Time Magazine journalists for their failure to release names of informants for stories they didn't run.  America will rest uneasily until these dangerous villians are locked up.

GOP Senators in Oregon got their house in order on Thursday, joining Democrats in refusing to take contributions while in session.  (Hold that thought.)  John Negroponte was nominated by Bush today to head the newly-created National Intelligence Director.  A good choice.  Having worked in deep intel in Central America during the Iran/Contra Affair, Negroponte is exactly the man to carry out the US's new policies of intelligence "gathering."  Human Rights Watch has accused him of "looking the other way" while rebels committed torture and assassinations.  Sounds like Al Gonzales' kind of guy.  And also on Thursday, Republicans proposed a bill that would shield gun manufacturers from product liability, a common-sense move backed by the NRA.  Guns, after all, are one product we should shield from liability.

Having spent a day confident of their purity, Republicans charged that Dems were crooked liars and had committed fraud in campaign papers filed with the Secretary of State on Friday.  When asked why they ignored the advice of their own accountant two weeks ago who said their was no fraud, the Republicans said, "What Doyle?"  Friday also saw new charges of torture leveled at US soldiers.  Prisoners in Iraq and Afghanistan are accused of beatings and mock executions.  Pictures of abuse were also discovered. 

I considered going out on a snarky comment, but sometimes reality resists it.

By Jeff Alworth Feb. 20, 2005