I’m a “white” looking gay male, who’s been lurking around and enjoying the postings here at Blue Oregon for the past couple of months. I say that I’m “white” looking, because based on my appearance people usually assume that I’ve got the typical, middle-European genotype appearance. The truth is a little more complicated than that, but it’s too much to go into here. The point I’d like to make is, while generalizations about cultural, ethnic or religious groups are hard to avoid, I learned a long time ago you must treat people as individuals in your daily life. Stereotypes don’t last very long in the real world. I’ve found the quality of the discourse here on Blue Oregon excellent. Most of the people who contribute and comment here seem to be concerned with the ideas presented, not the race or gender of the person doing the commenting. Truthfully, (until I saw Kari’s breakdown by gender and non-white status in the “growing pains” thread) I assumed that Kari was female, and that Mac Diva was a drag name. Nothing wrong with being either one. Some of my closest friends are women, and some of the smartest, most capable people I’ve known have been drag queens (white, black, brown, and anywhere in between). So much for stereotypes. Keep up the good work, Kari. I really appreciate the forum you’ve provided here. (Oh, and by the way, Mac Diva, I and my partner of nine years got married March 12th of last year. Not “married”. Married. He’s my husband. Get over it.)

Having lived in this country through five decades now, I think Bullworth may have had the only long-term workable solution to racism.

Leslie – In your post, you said: “As a white woman, I avoid talking about race most of the time, since I've no personal experience of racial prejudice.” In my experience, racial prejudice is a disservice many people do to others, not just something white people impose on people of color. Stereotyping and bigotry based on perceived differences between two people hurt us all. This knife cuts both ways. I said in my earlier post that most people assume I’m white based on my appearance. There have been exceptions. I have some Native American ancestry, I’m olive skinned and have dark hair. As a result there have been occasions where people have assumed I was Mexican based on my appearance. During Desert Storm, some people assumed I was a middle-eastern exchange student, because of my appearance and because my diction and manner with strangers tends to be formal. These assumptions on the part of strangers made a noticeable difference in the way they interacted with me (and not a positive difference). You close with: “I offer this story only as a reminder that even those of us who are white can have an experience of race discrimination, even if it's not direct. I share my husband's pain, and we are both working to try and be fully prepared for what our kids might face in the future.” Thank you for sharing your experiences. Over the years, I have had (and still have) friends that run the spectrum of ethnic backgrounds, including relationships that are colloquially termed “mixed marriages”. For the sake of their kids, and yours, we must set aside our preconceptions and foster a culture of respect for the individual. I’ll continue to do my best.

Tom C. – I hope your allusion to Bullworth is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the idea of a racially homogenous culture. As for myself, I don’t want to give up the wonderful variety of experiences I’ve had through interacting with people from different cultural backgrounds.

It was never a moment of stopping for me. I never started.

I grew up in student housing down in Eugene. Westmoreland student housing to be exact. it was something like 45% foreign students. Mostly from Mideast and African nations. About as good an abject lesson you will get in "racial diversity" in mid-1970's Oregon. Israeli, Kenyan, Australian, French, Thai, Morrocan, Saudi, Viet immigrants, Canadian, Haitian, Chinese.

I grew up bathed in the scents of foreign cooking, and learning to communicate non-verbally with kids who couldn't speak English. The faces of my friends were multi-hued, and I still see them in my dreams (being UO students, most of the parents returned to their home nations after their schooling was over, taking my friends away).

My first girlfriend was Chinese, and we ate behind the restaurant her uncle owned. He didn't like me cuz of my skin color, but I didn't care. She was stunning, and I had le heartbeat d' amore.

I have had many partners of various ethnicities over the years, and not once have I given any consideration to race (or gender for that matter). If someone really thinks I am racist, I cannot dissabuse them of that notion. I can only let my history speak for me.

Incidentally, the bashers I have described in prior posts were Anglo. Don't know what religion or nationality, but they were all white. To me when I think of criminals, the face in my mind isn't black or hispanic: its white.

On a related note: In discussions with my Beaverton co-workers, race comes up, mostly because they are afraid to go to Popeyes on MLK, and are worried for their personal safety on that street and in that neighborhood. I still have trouble conceptionalizing that fear, mostly because they can't clearly communicate just why they are afraid.

I find it pleasing that when confronted with a movie about apartied on Disney, I actually had to stop the movie and explain the whole concept to my 7 year old daughter. she had no frame of reference to grasp that one group of people were treated differently based upon the color of their skin. Repeated wide open mouth, and pure shock in her eyes. And anger when I explained that a similar system was in place here for decades, and there is still some in place here.

1:30 am? Wassup with that? Bikers always go home too early. Leave it to the scooter trash to close up the bars, and then its weeeeeeEEEEeeeeee all the way home. :-)

David,

Nothing tongue in cheek about it. As long as race is so easily exploited politically, homogenity may be the only cure. Racism crops up whenever economic turmoil makes a minority or non-native group handy scapegoats. Of course in America and Australia, the true natives are scapegoated as well.

Sure, diversity is wonderful, but racism is not. Of course, I would never support forced breeding to reach Bullworth's goal.

Tom – I think I understand where you’re coming from, with the notion of scapegoats. I’ve noticed that many (or most) people have a need to look down on some other group. Feeling superior to some identifiable group seems to make people feel better about their own circumstances.
This doesn’t leave much hope for a solution, as bigotry and racism are based on subjective stereotypes, not on the individual person. I can’t imagine a world where you couldn’t divide people with arbitrary distinctions. Gender, height, age – even if we take those characteristics we identify as “race” out of the equation, there will always be discernable differences. Maybe I’m missing your point, after all. You say “Racism crops up whenever economic turmoil makes a minority or non-native group handy scapegoats.” Is it your proposition that we can’t avoid racism, until we can eliminate poverty? I expect that would make things better, but some of the most bigoted people I’ve met were well off financially. Regardless, thanks for the food for thought.

Eliminating poverty would be an ideal answer. Educating people so they are not subject to racialist propaganda would work as well. I don't see either of those happening in this century. Eliminating race is an alternative.

The fact that it is as likely as any other way to deal with the problem underscores just how unsuccessful we have been in dealing with racism. So, while the idea is somewhat tongue in cheek, I am not optimistic of some other approach working.

I grew up in a racist family. They're good people, but they were judgmental of others based on appearance. It was still quite common in the 1960s, and I absorbed more of it than I realized. I remember not liking the Jackson 5 because they were black. It's a shameful memory.

When I was 18 I had the opportunity to spend a year teaching English and music in Zimbabwe. The experience changed me forever. Because I like a good adventure, I tried to blend in with the local culture. I learned how to cook their food, carry things on my head, etc. I went barefoot all the time. I learned some of their language. All my friends were Africans. And I learned that they were no different from anyone else. I even had a romantic fling with a Rwandan. I'll never forget when I realized that they didn't all look alike. I know that sounds amazingly ignorant, but that's just the way it was.

What really finally broke through my thick skull was when I went shoe shopping in town one day. Bear in mind this was just one year after Zimbabwe had won its independance, so all the institutionalized racism still existed. I bought a pair of shoes and the clerk boxed and bagged them up nicely for me. As I left, I watched as the woman behind me - an African woman - endured an entirely different treatment. Her shoes were unceremoniously dumped onto the counter and her change was practically thrown at her. When I went out and got on a bus I realized that while I was allowed to hand my fare directy to the driver, the black Africans had to set it on the dashboard. They weren't allowed to touch whites.

I was horrified the whole way back to my home. I started to see that this class division was the elephant in the living room, and wondered how I hadn't noticed it before. I realized that the reason everyone was so nice to me was because that's the way they were supposed to treat whites, not because I was "one of them." I began to cringe when I would look in the mirror and see a white face staring back at me.

I'm happy to say that the change in me was real. In fact, at one point during my stay some rebels came through the area on a killing rampage against whites. One African woman from whom I bought a number of beautiful baskets told me that for miles around the Africans knew I was one of them and they wouldn't let anything happen to me.

I have determined make sure my children don't grow up with the same prejudices I had as a child - not by pointing it out all the time, but rather by not pointing race out and just letting them grow up seeing people as people. And I am so grateful to live in Woodburn, where my children have grown up blind to color. Their friends are almost all Mexicans. While I, having grown up in the 1960s, notice that, my children do not. That gives me hope for our future.

i grew up in Southern Oregon -- in a fairly racist burg...the first time i ever saw a black person, outside of the tele, was when i was around 12 or 13. around then, a kid named Jimmy and his family moved to our town (god knows why) and, of course, they were black.

Jimmy was one of my best friends for awhile -- until mid-high school, when i became a bit too geeky and he became too much of a jock (stereotypical, but true). he was a great guy though and we had some good times before that. unlike most of my peers and family, i was definately not into being a close-minded racist.

when i moved to Portland, i was a complete rube and unaccustomed to many of the subtler forms of deception...i got ripped-off quite a few times by (poor) black guys in various situations and i found myself slipping into a very prejudiced stance.

like b!X, i just had to stop it in its tracks. i realized that people are people and, being a rube, i was being taken advantage of by the seedier element because of my own naivety and coupled with their own sickly predations.

in reality, i've been jerked-around by more white folks than i have anyone else so it really doesn't make any sense to be a ridiculous bigot...i've found that being a misanthrope works better.

Anne: this may come off sounding a little mean, but what would you say if I told you that I didn't care what your national origin is? That your ethnic heritage means zero in terms of how I would treat you as a person that I encounter on the street, cafe, or do business with? That I I wouldn't dream of asking someone to be more "scottish", or more "philipino" or more "kenyan" any more than I would ask someone to be more "white."

"And we can bust our own predetermined expectations if we stop trying so hard to be colorblind and instead put some value on diversity."

Does that come out like I am devalueing your ethnic heritage? It isn't meant to be that way, but I am at a loss regarding how to honor your diversity when passing you on the street or sharing a table at the local cafe.

Every human being has an inherent dignity and (hopefully) a universal sense of honor and pride. That should be what we choose to acknowledge, not the fact you or I are ethnically mixed, or somehow different from the homogonized anglo cultural wasteland.

and one last thing: we are indeed more alike than we are different. We both have decided to stick it out here in the USA because we believe in the idea of a free nation. We both participate in this board because we want to make our party stronger.On a more individual level:We both bleed when cut. We both have live births (well...not me, but my wife does), and we both want to make a better world for future generations. I would hazard to say that we are far more alike than some people would like to admit. Thankfully, neither you nor I are "some people."

I, for one, am very curious about people's cultures and beliefs and respect them. That's what I enjoy most when I travel. Whether to a foreign country or even across the U.S., I have found that people have different ways of interacting, different core beliefs, and many other fascinating differences. I travel often, and every time I make an effort to get to know something about local culture. That, Anne, is not what we are talking about here.

What we are talking about here is racism - disliking someone for no other reason than their race. In that sense, we should strive to be colorblind. That doesn't mean we don't honor diversity. It means that we see humans of all races first as humans, and that race isn't the first thing we notice or an overriding factor in our relationships with other people. It means that race doesn't impact hiring decisions or friendship decisions, for example.

<h2>It's a tall order and has never really been accomplished in all of human history. Tribalism, clans, etc. are part of what we are as a species. Even religion separates people into "them" and "us." But in a small world, we have to learn to focus on the things that we have in common as humans and develop a sense of compassion for all people if we're going to make it. That's how I see it, anyway!</h2>