Oregon Expo Centers?

Brian Wagner

Out here on the East Coast, Oregon politics don't get much play. In fact, the topic of Oregon doesn't come up often except when your boss compares Portland to Scotland because both are "damp." Yet people in New York, like in Oregon, enjoy a good chat about baseball. While Portland was in play as a potential home for the mighty Expos, Portland was up there with DC, Northern Virginia, and some place over the border in Mexico. But then the Expos decided to become the highly original "Washington Nationals," and Oregon faded once again into the background, known only as the state that is often identified by its location between California and Washington.

Yet now we hear that, due in part to the lobbying efforts of the D.C. sex industry, which would be displaced by a new D.C. stadium, funding is falling through, and the future of the Nats' is in doubt.

Which leads me to revive an old thread, namely, what would we name an Oregon team if the Expos inexplicably fell in our laps? Would we go the Oregon Bus Project route and try to generalize the team so it could unify us to support OREGON'S team? Or would we go the gay marriage route and allow a fe powerful Portlanders to monopolize the naming process so we would have PORTLAND'S liberal team, screw everyone else?

Finally, what the hell would we call our team? I'm sorry, but if it is anything like the Rockies (taken), Timbers, or Beavers, it would be a snoozer. What in Oregon or Portland lends itself to energy, excitement, and edginess? The Portland Neils? The Oregon Sizemores? The Portland "We aren't associated with the rest of the state" Liberals?

Light-hearted topic looking for a light-hearted response in order to help this one Oregon expatriate (coming home soon) survive a bout with final exams.

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    Why, the Portland Bogdanskis, of course.

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    Or, on another note, there's always the Portland Columbians, but given out basketball team the Portland Jailbreakers, maybe we don't want a name that might summon up the image of cocaine cartels.

  • Christy (unverified)
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    Maybe it is because I am a Bus kid, but I like the idea of going with Oregon as opposed to Portland. The Oregon Cascades? Kind of lame, but I like the idea of honoring the beauty of our state. Please, nothing with Lewis and Clark.

    And I have to admit that I think a baseball team would be a good thing for Portland and for Oregon. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone I said so.

  • Brian Wagner (unverified)
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    I would suggest the Oregon (Phil) Knights, but I think the U of O football team already took that name.

    I'm leaning toward the Oregon Microchips. Or Portland Silicon. Or we can be like Real Madrid and call our team Rainy Oregon.

    Wait ... I've got it. Let's call our team BLUE OREGON. How's that for some great publicity?

  • Aaron (unverified)
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    The top vote would be for The Cascadia Commotion, it would cause a great commotion for the region too put up a major league Baseball team. My second vote would be for The Purgatorians, my personal opinion this idea would make Portland, Oregon rename itself to Purgatory,Oregon—because of the financially disaster it would put the taxpayers into. My final vote would be for The Oregon Knightmares, a nice lovely body of a horse with flames coming from its hooves with the head of Phil Knight.

  • Amanda (unverified)
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    The Oregon Sluggers. That way we can call 'em the Slugs, especially during rain-outs.

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    The Cascades is actually quite nice. How about The Hoods? :) The Lumberjacks? The Latte-sipping Effetes?

    I also like the PDXpos.

  • Steve Schopp (unverified)
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    Portland Utopians Oregon Trails Cascade Caps Portland Planners Oregon Nice Portland Protestors Oregon Folks Portland Peoples Portland Urbanists

  • Fifo and Lifo (unverified)
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    Portland Liberals

    Then we go ask Karen M. and the Oregon House of Reps to fund the stadium!

    Or even better the Portland River Katz, I can here Lars' rant already.

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    I find watching baseball to be a little less entertaining than watching paint dry. I have also never seen a case where major league sports hasn't wound up costing the host city instead of making money for it.

    So I say leave the Expos in DC and have them send their sex industry out to us. Now that's a money maker!!!

  • Aaron (unverified)
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    Pat,

    Then let us take both and the name the team..the Portland Prostitutors. Since that we would be prostituting our financal futures on a sport that well like up here.

  • Brian Wagner (unverified)
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    Well, Pat, according to Insomniac on Comedy Central, Portland already has the most strips clubs per capita in the US. Why do we need DC's sex industry? How about a better trade? I'm envisioning a deal where we send them some Columbia River water, Bill Sizemore, and the headquarters of Oregonians in Action in exchange for a few U.S. Senators. All equally odious, so all shall suffer.

    And while I probably agree with you on the costs not helping Portland out, I am always reminded of some posting or article I read back when the Expos were up in the air, where the writer said that while opponents of baseball teams spew facts and figures, all the supporters have to do is say "Come onnnnnn, it will be fun!" Honestly, isn't that why most people support baseball teams, because they are just tickled by the notion of having a team? Economic considerations, for true believers, are like marriage statistics to Jerry Falwell--out of sight, out of mind.

  • Aaron (unverified)
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    Brian,

    Can we ship Karen Minnis, Wayne Scott and Ted Ferrolli too to DC, as well? That is my only condition for letting a consideration of negotiations of a possibility of bringing baseball to Oregon.

  • Brian Wagner (unverified)
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    Oh, I was thinking of making it like some bad Disney movie, where all the "bad guys" end up being humiliated. Can't you imagine Karen selling popcorn and Wayne hawking beer at a new stadium?

    (Yes, I'm doing a lot to bridge the gap between parties in the interest of bipartisanship)

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    As a DC resident, let me report that it was not just the sex industry involved in the DC Council decision. There was a significant grassroots lobbying effort that strongly resisted the notion of a pure public funding model. I'm 50-50 on it personally, not because I'm a baseball fan, but because I would love to see some additional economic development in Anacostia. Portlanders have seen Albina and other N and NE Portland neighborhoods benefit from development money... SE DC could benefit an awful lot from a similar model.

    Then again, $300 million to our school system sounds pretty good too...

  • rich (unverified)
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    The Little Beirut Batters

  • Steve Schopp (unverified)
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    One interesting item during the stadium news reports around here. One of our competitors for the Expos, Charlotte NC, was described as possibly having difficulty gaining public support becasue they had recently funded a new convention center hotel. The reason stated was that "convention center hotels are notorius for losing money" and voters may not be in the mood to fund a risky stadium at this time. I know you all like caps so, NOTORIOUS FOR LOSING MONEY!

    That's what the Portland Development Commission is working on for Portland. A new convention center hotel is supposed to boost convention business and the bottom line of our money losing conventon center. There won't be any public vote on our hotel though. The 200 PDC employees, that's right 200, along with city hall and Metro will find a scheme to build it anyway. Is that progressive, conservative or just plain foolish?

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    Portland Fungus (or should that be Fungoes?)

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    The Taxes.

    First, it represents the public tax dollars that subsidize the team's creation.

    More importantly, some people always give the hometown team a tough time, regardless of how they are doing, just like they criticize taxes no matter how much their lives depend on services provided by taxes, so those folks can holler "Taxes, you suck!"

    Those of us who recognize that taxes are truly the price we pay for a civilized society (does subsidizing a baseball team fit under the rhetoric of civilized society? I guess it is more civilized than some medieval sports) and that the hometown team can do well or ought to be encouraged to do well, can holler "go taxes!"

    Those that like to cheer on the home time but don't like taxes, well...they probably like the Yankees, anyway.

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