John Howard Kisses W's Butt

Elizabeth Cage

Editor's Note: Elizabeth Cage (just "Cage" to her friends) is BlueOregon's new correspondent in Australia. A PSU alum and former Clintonista, Cage now lives in Sydney and will reflect on Oregon from afar, as well as telling stories of kangaroos and universal health care.

It’s with envy I have noted the countdown to the American election. Until yesterday, here in Australia, we did not know when our federal election would be held. Mild campaigning has been underway for a time – akin to the way boats jostle for position ahead of the start of a sailing race. In one of the less appealing aspects of Australia’s version of the Westminster system, Prime Minister Johnny “Whatever W. Wants” Howard has been dilly dallying around, reading the tea leaves and waiting for the polls to turn more in his favour before calling the election. Now it’s finally on for 9 October.

Prime Minister Howard’s conservative Coalition government has been in power for 8 + years and he is leading his Liberal Party into his 4th election. (Yes, the conservatives are called the Liberal Party, don’t ask.)

At 65 Howard's age is an issue although he begins each day with a power walk through his Sydney neighbourhood (Kirribilli, across the harbour from the Opera House, is home to the official prime ministers’ Sydney residence… not to be confused with The Lodge, his residence in the capital, Canberra). Cartoonists love his overgrown eyebrows and balding pate. Politically I guess he’s a bit like George senior – conservative but not rabidly so, someone I disagree with and am anxious to see the back of but the sight of him doesn’t make my blood curdle. But he’s had his lips thoroughly attached to W’s bum for several years now and, frankly, a lot of Australians find it woefully embarrassing at best, dangerously pathetic at worst.

Our Labor Party leader, Mark Latham, ascended to the position less than a year ago. He’s in his early 40s and has had a reputation as a bully-boy larrikin which he’s been actively softening since achieving the leadership. Yet however many times he reads stories to little children or demurely sips cups of tea with blue haired ladies, he struggles to shake the image of the Latham who broke a cab driver’s arm in a tussle over the fare, or the Latham that referred to the Prime Minister as an “arse licker”. To his credit, Latham has the reputation of being an innovator, full of fresh ideas. In the past six months he has introduced and forced through some popular legislation -- none more so than introducing a pay cut for Federal politicians.

Australian politics are essentially a semi-pro affair. I’m working on Peter Garrett’s campaign for the House of Representatives, one of about a half dozen staffers of whom one is paid by the Federal Labor Party. And like so much about Australian life, on the surface things look quite similar to America but scratch down a bit and you find how different it is. Political types here love the bread and circus aspects of American politics but certainly don’t wish for them. It’s a fairly low key game here and that’s the way people like it. But of course mandatory voting changes the rules pretty considerably. As does the fact that politics are party driven rather than candidate driven.

Peter Garrett might be a recognizable name to anyone who was paying attention to rock music in the late 1980’s as he was the front man for Midnight Oil. While they had a brief shining moment in North America and Europe, they are an iconographic band for a generation of Australians. Peter, in addition to his Oils duties, has been president of the Australian Conservation Foundation for the better part of 15 years or so (the oldest and among the more mainstream Australian environmental organisations – at the same end of the spectrum as Sierra Club). He’s also been a notable spokesman on indigenous and human rights issues. Beyond all that, I’d guess that over 90% of people under say 60 who were born in Australia could pick him out of a line-up. So, in short, very well known and highly respected by many.

That Peter would one day enter elective politics has long been assumed. (He actually ran on the Nuclear Disarmament Party ticket for the Senate in 1984 narrowly missing out due to an exchange of preferences between the mainstream parties.) I’ve known Pete for 16 years and have been waiting all along for this campaign – so it’s great the day has finally come and that I’m here to be part of it.

In the coming weeks I plan to offer postings here about the Australian Federal election and a view on American politics from afar. Questions are welcome – in the comments tool here or via email on [email protected].

By Elizabeth Cage Aug. 31, 2004